Chatting with Harvey — ‘The Lack of Root Beer in Russia’

bunny_boyI think it is time to publish my correspondence with Harvey, an anonymous person from the famous rock band The Residents. It happened six years ago, when The Residents released their album ‘The Bunny Boy’. Harvey was replying using email wearedoomed666@gmail.com which I guess has been dumped by now [updated 21.09.2015 — evidently it is still alive — just received a reply from the guy, six years later!].

I had a lot of fun with that:

Alex: Need help to find someone in Europe?

Harvey: DER ALEX WEL IS GREASE IN EURPO FROM BUNNY

Alex: Dear Harvey, who is in Marina del Rey, California then? I can’t see you in Greece.

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL I RELLY DON NO SO MUCH ABUT MARINA DEL REY BUT IT SOUND LIKE IT S IN CALIFORNA OR MEXICAO OR SOMEPLACE I DONT THINK HARVY IS THER FROM  BUNY

Alex: So, how can I help you to find Harvey? Need material or spiritual support? Both available.

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL I GUES SPRTUAL SUPPORT IS ALWAYS GOD BUT IT WUD ALS O HELP IF YU TALK TO PEPLE ABUT THE END OF THE WORL AND STUFF AND SEE IF THEY GET EXCIETED AND YEL AN SCREMA BECAUSESIT MIGHT BE HARVEY SO THEN YU COULD TAKE HIS PICTURAND SEND IT TO ME THANS FROM  BUNY
PS IM PTERY STRESED OUT ABOUT THIS RESDENCE THING AND ALL

Alex: What’s that thing about the Residents? New album “Bunny Boy”? I think it’s cool. Just songs are too short. What really bothers me is that Russia is out of their European tour. That sucks, as I’m from Russia. Last time they were in St. Petersburg and Moscow It was very exciting, I hope they felt the very special reception there, even though they almost had no time to sleep.
Do you mind if I publish our correspondence on my website?

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL YES YU CNPUBLISH AND AL AND THNS FOR AKSING BE CAWS I HERD OTHER PEOPLE HAV BEEN PUTTING IT ON THE INTERNET AND ALL AN THEY DIDN EVE N ASK!!!! IM SORY THE REIDENT ARNT COMING TO RUSSIA BUT THERE IS A RUSSIAN MEAT STORY CLOSE TO ME AND IM GOING OT ASK THIEM IF THEY HAVE SMOKE D BEAR FROM  BUNNY
PS IM NOT SURE IF I WANT TO GO ON THE TUR AN ALL SINCE IT WUS BE RELLY SCARY
PS AGIN HAVE YU EVER HAD SOMOKED BEAR

Alex: I’ve never had smoked bear. Is it any good? Yet I don’t think you should ask for that in the Russian shop. Ask them instead to serve you some PELMENI plus VODKA. You won’t regret, take my word. The latter especially helps in case you’re scared and cold.
As for the tour, I would be scared too, imagining all the logistics issues associated. Do you know how the Residents do the check-in in hotels by the way? That must be scary. Did you also visit the Cave of Apocalypses?

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL NO I NEVER HAD THE SMOKED BEAR JUST SMKOED EEL AND CATFISH BUT SOMEBODY SENT ME A EMAIL ABOUT IT AND SAID THEY MIGHT HAVE IT AT THE RUSSAN MEEAT STOR BUT I HAVN HAD ENUFF NERV TO ASK FOR IT FROM  BUNNY
PS I DON NO ABUT THE HOTEL STUFF BUT I THNK THEY STAY IN A SEPERAT ON AN ONLY COME FOR THE SHOS
PS AGAIN NO I HAVN BEEN TO THE CAV

Alex: No, THEY stay in hotels, at least they did so in Russia, Molly explained that pretty well. So, what about that End of the World thing? What was the point of visiting Patmos? Saw a secret message?

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL THE PATMO THING WAS HARVYS IDE ABOUT THE END OF THE WORLD AND IT WAS GOING TO BE STARING IN THE CAV OF HTE APOCOLIPS AND ALL THIS CRAZY STUFF FROM  BUNNY
PS IS THAT CRAZY OR WHAT BUT THATS WHY HE SWENT TO PATMOS
PS I DON THINK THEY HAVE SMOKED BER IN GRASE EITHER

Alex: I appreciate that communication. Not many rock stars (if any) could afford the real email exchange with their fans. Cool. I will be telling that to my children. Do you have children, by the way? But you have to elaborate that Patmos story. Not easy to do in sunny California I guess (foggy in the morning, sunny in the afternoon?), but the beginning is good, just add some bear meet. Anyway new album is just perfect! Congratulations.
I attached one photo. Cheers from Italy.

cave

Harvey: DER ALX WEK THANKS FOR SENIN THE PICTURE AN ALL BUT IM NOT A RCK SATR YET BUT I HOP THE RESDENTS WILL GIV M E  LIMO IF I DO IT BUT I PROBLLY WONT FROM  BUNY

Harvey: DER  ALES WELL YU NO THE LIMO THIN WAS JUST A KIND OF JOKE FROM  BUNNY
PS YES IM GOING BUT IM ALREADY THINKNG THAT THIS IS A BAD DECISON AND ALL

Alex: I expected anything but jokes from you. So, are you the guy who is in the movie, or it is an actor? Why do you think that is a bad decision to join them?
I’m flying tonight. Cheerio

Harvey: DER ALX WELL SOMTIMES I GT A LITTLE BORD IN MY SECRT ROM SO I MAK A LITTLE JOK IM SORY FROM  BUNY
PS WELL OF CURSE ITS ME
PS MORE BECSUWS ITS SO SCARY !!!!!!!
PS AGIN WEHER AR YU FLUYIN TO BE CARFUL

Alex: My flight from Italy to Russia was OK.
In the episode 15, there is a family you show on vacation photos. Is it Harvey’s?
My wife said about “The Bunny Boy” album: They are still making music as if they were twenty years old. I consider that a fair and unbelievably straight forward compliment. I would appreciate if you could have a chance to tell THEM that.
With love from Russia.

Harvey: DER ALX IM HAPY TO HEAR YU HAD A GOD FLIGHT AND ALL I THINK ARPLNES ARE MAYBE EVEN MOR SCARY THAN BEING ON STAGE WHICH IS OF CURSE THE SCARIES THIN IN THE WORLD FROM BUNNY
PS YUR WIF SUNDS LIKE A VERI IN INTEL GENT PERONS WITH GOD TASTE AND ALL AND PORBLY SMART TOO ILL TELL THE RESIDENTS WHICH I MA NOT ON OF CURS
PS AGIN PEPLE HAV BEN ASKING ME WHAT THYE CAN DO AN I SAY TO TAK ALL THER FRINDS THAT MITE CARE ABUT HARVY AND THEN START A BUNNY BRIGAD WHERE THEY CAN GET TOGETH AND EAT POPCORN AND DRINK ROT BER AND HELP ME FIGUR OUT THE CLUES AND ALL BUT MAYBE THEY DON HAV POPCORN IN RUSSIA SO IT WUDN WORK IM SORY STIL FROM  BUNY
PS EVEN MORE BUT IF THY DO HAV POPCORN IN RUSSA THEN YU CUD BE PRESIDNT OF THE RUSSAN BUNNY BRGADE!!!

Alex: Thank you, my wife will be pleased to hear that.
We have tons of pop-corn (influence of American culture). What we don’t have is root beer—totally unknown here. Is any soda any good for that?
Bunny brigade sounds too optimistic, and your story is a sad one, isn’t it?

Harvey: DER ALEX WELL IM SORY MEANS THE BUNY BRIGAD WONT WORK IN RUSSA YU CUD TRY DR PEPPER OR DELAWARE PUNCH WHICH MIGHT BE OK BUT DON EVEN THINK ABUT COKE FROM BUNY

Alex: “Delaware Punch”? You must be kidding. You equally ask for Rivella.
I love coke though. Why it is no good this blaaaack water?
So, what about that family you showed in your episode 15? Who are they?

Harvey: DER   IM SORY IM SORY IM OUT HER ON THIS TUR WTH THE RSDETNS AND EVRTHIN IS WIRD!!!!! I CANT TLK NOW IM SORY FROM BUNY

The End

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